Keeping Your Relationship or Marriage Strong in Midlife

Relationships are growing, changing entities and like all living things, they need care and attention or they will wither and die. Most people lead busy lives and have work, family, and social obligations to maintain, but it's important that marriages or romantic relationship don't get ignored in the rush to keep on top of all of the responsibilities of daily life.

Make Time to Play

A happy life requires a certain amount of balance. Remember the old saying, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy"? It's still true today and it applies to relationships as well as to individuals. Almost everyone has serious responsibilities - there is money to earn and households to maintain, but play is important, too. Couples who share hobbies or simply set aside time to enjoy meals together are going a long way to stay connected on an emotional level, vital for long term staying power.

Yes, the kids need attention, but they don't need every moment - in fact, it's good for kids to see their parents nurturing their romantic sides. It sets an example for them in prioritising their own marriages some day, which just may help them to develop healthy, happy romantic relationships in adulthood.

It's a Partnership

Most people are very independent and quite capable of handling all aspects of their lives. While this is a good thing, such single-mindedness can be detrimental to relationships unless both partners recognise that some decisions need to be made together. Small, everyday choices certainly do not require approval by both members of a couple (nobody wants to be consulted every time the dog need to be fed), but larger decisions should be discussed so that a consensus can be reached before an action is undertaken.

Home improvement projects, holiday plans, large purchases, and decisions regarding the welfare of the children should be made together, with both parties aiming for compromise when opinions vary. A true partnership requires respect and consideration of the other's opinions.

Sex Matters

One of the times that long term relationships are a great risk for infidelity is during midlife. Both members of a couple may be experiencing a bit of self-doubt during this stage, and need confirmation that they are attractive and desirable. Couples who maintain healthy intimate relationships are far less likely to find one (or both) partners giving in to the temptation to stray.

Far too many people find that they put sex near the bottom of their list of priorities, and then wonder why they no longer feel close connections to their mates. If sexual dysfunction becomes an issue, couples can take heart in knowing that help is as close as the doctor's surgery. Most causes of sexual dysfunction can be helped, from impotency in men to vaginal dryness or lack of desire in menopausal women.

Honour and Cherish

Married couples once stood and vowed to make the other person irreplaceable in their lives, yet about half of all marriages end in divorce. Some separations are unavoidable - one member is abusive or the couple simply finds that their differences are insurmountable, but often, couples simply allow themselves to grow apart. Whether married or not, making the romantic relationship a high priority is necessary if long term happiness is to be had.